“I’ve tried telling my in-laws that we have more than everything we need and that we would really appreciate experience gifts this year, but judging by the boxes they just unloaded from the back of their trunk I take it they did not listen.”
With the holiday’s fast approaching (read: two days from today) I’ve had several clients express the anxiety and frustration they feel about ALLLL the new items that are to be introduced into their home through gifts.
If the problem with having too much stuff and clutter stems from OTHER people bringing stuff into your life and making you feel guilty about keeping it or accepting it in the first place; allow me to provide this gentle reminder…
You have to prioritize YOU. Always. For the sake of your sanity and everyone’s around you.
No one has a right to your space. Your space should be a sacred, joyful and curated place just for you and your family in a way that’s going to best serve you in your lives so that you are better equipped to go out and serve the world in your unique, creative way.
People give you stuff MAINLY because it makes them feel good. OR because it’s what they feel like they should do. There is a lot of tradition around gift giving, and many people give so thoughtlessly, simply because it’s what they’ve been told to do in X situation.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some people who are fantastic gift givers. But they are the ones who listen closely year round, seek to understand what you need, may love or find useful in your life. Not the ones who realize Christmas is a few weeks away so they head to the mall to see if something catches their eye for each person on their list.
My intention is not to sound ungrateful or unappreciative by any means. I think many would agree that they would rather be spared with the thoughtless gift- and spared with the decision of what to do with it, in favor of spending quality time in the uninterrupted presence of the gift giver.
If you find yourself on either side of the equation this year- feeling anxious about receiving gifts when you have too much, or about giving them because you’ve waited to long and have to rush out over the next two days to find something, try to prioritize presence over presents.
- A conversation over a nice home cooked meal
- A mani/pedi with a good friend
- Taking them out for coffee
- Offering to babysit while they take some quality time alone
- Anything you think they would truly appreciate that doesn’t necessarily come in a box!
You will both be at peace with the giving and receiving of thoughtful gifts that prioritize presence this holiday season.